Mar 4, 2015

letters to baby ... (#4) the one in which I try to catch up

Hello my sweet darling baby GIRL!

I can't believe it has been so long since I have written a letter to you (insert mum guilt here) and it's definitely not for lack of thinking about you. For you are ALWAYS on my mind - every second of every minute I am dreaming about what you will look like (will have your daddies eyes?!) what your little personality will be like and every conversation no matter who I am with always ends up about baby stuff. It is excitement station here right now and Daddy and I can't wait to feel that crazy parental love that everyone talks about, as soon as we lay our eyes on your perfect little face!

Today you and I are 39 weeks and 3 days. And I can't believe in 5 days we will be officially 40 weeks!  It seems crazy to me as I always thought that I would go into labour early and yet here we are, almost full term! But in one way that has been so nice and I am so thankful you have given me this time to rest and prepare for your arrival for I was starting to get stressed that nothing was ready! I finished up work only 2 and a bit weeks ago and have been in major nesting mode ever since. The house and everything is now feeling much more ready and organized for you. I have been through every drawer and cupboard reorganising and arranging things and Mar Mar came and helped me organise your cupboards, which are just the cutest! I love to open them up and just look at all the teeny beautiful things we have been blessed with and imagine you wearing them. Our hospital bags are finally packed and are sitting waiting, we have been driving around with your car seats installed and our house is suddenly filled with all these baby things and a sweet explosion of pink! (Your mumma's a pink girl at heart so I'm not complaining). Oh and we finally finished doing up your bassinet which is now set up in our room, so we now have somewhere for you to sleep! (for a while there we thought if you came early that you would be sleeping in your pram!) As Pa was making your bassinet stand and also getting your cot re painted and we had nothing here at home for you to sleep in - phew!)

I am also savoring up these last days/weeks feeling your kicks and rolls and stretches (oh my the stretches - this last week you've been getting that little foot of yours right up into my ribs and you like to give me a good 'push' if I bend over too much and get in your space!) Daddy on the other hand is so anxious for you to get here and keeps telling me how much he just wants to hold you! So he tries to 'hold' my belly as much as he can. It is the dearest thing. He has always always just wanted to be a daddy and I am so glad that you and I together can make his dream come true!

So much has happened since I last wrote to you back in September (!!) ...

You have the dearest little womb nickname which your daddy thought up one day. You are now known to almost everyone as 'Tiny Dancer' (or in Grandma's case 'The Dancer') This is because my belly is really quite small (we are all wondering how you are fitting in there) and you love to flutter and move and 'dance' around in there. I didn't even realize how much the nickname has stuck until your baby shower when nearly every card was written to Katie and 'Tiny Dancer' (or TD). I love it and hope we always remember that this was how everyone knew you before you were born.

One crazy thing that has happened since I last wrote you a letter was after our 18-20 week ultrasound when we went back to our midwife appointment and were told that you had possible 'talipes' or clubfoot. This was a crazy and emotional few weeks and we had to go back for an additional scan for them to have a better look at your feet. All the Dr's and ultrasound technicians have confirmed that they believe you have talipes of both feet but they will not know how bad it is until you are born and once you are born they can work out the best steps of action (massage manipulation or little casts). Although this is not the worst thing that could happen it hit daddy and I quite hard after everything was going so well and we both cried over your dear little feet so. We are believing however that our Jesus is bigger and more amazing than any Doctor's report and that you will be born whole and healthy with two perfectly straight feet in Jesus' name!

Also, around 34 weeks (?!) I was getting quite uncomfortable and at my midwife appointment was told you were presenting traverse breech (which means you were sitting sideways across my body and not turning downwards in preparation for birth like you should of being doing around that time) It was not a very pleasant sensation over the next couple of weeks, as your would stretch long ways and I felt like my body was being stretched in two! So you and I spent a good 3-4 weeks hanging out upside down on the couch after work each night, or I would hang out on all fours in 'cat position', we also did cartwheels in the pool and acupressure points on my little toe and saw our chiropractor who worked on straightening my hips so you could turn. And my wonderful Tiny Dancer you did it - a tad late, but you finally danced your way into perfect position and at my last midwife appointment (38 weeks) I was told you were sitting in the most perfect position for birth - incredibly low down, head first, facing the right way, engaged and ready to go. And I have felt that change too - the pressure of you sitting lower which after a long busy day makes me wadddle ever so slightly - something daddy joked he would never let me do (so I might play it up a bit for him ;)

Apart from that you have been on your very best behaviour and God has blessed me with the most easy and wonderful pregnancy. Apart from a teeny bit of acid reflux and slight siaticia (of which I already used to get from work) I have felt amazing and we have enjoyed walks, swimming and yoga and hanging out together. I have also been sleeping very well and am so thankful for Jesus that I have been blessed with such an amazing pregnancy.

We were also thrown the most amazing baby shower by Aunty Pegs, Aunty Katty and Aunty Kate. Every little detail was just divine and I have never seen so many beautiful gifts in one space. Seriously little Miss you were super spoilt and we suddenly felt much more prepared for your arrival after the shower. I hope to blog about it soon. It was just the best day and all a wonderful 'top secret' surprise to me - which was so fun! While the girls set up daddy took me out on a breakfast date where we kissed and talked and held hands a lot. Then he dropped me off to get my makeup done and I felt so fancy and special. But probably one of the best and sweetest moments of the whole day was when I arrived back home and daddy told me he had had 'a moment' where he was thinking about me and you and how much he loves us both and how excited he was of this season and becoming a little family and that he just teared up and had a good cry. I think that was the moment that your arrival really became real to your daddy and he was overcome with how amazing this season is! And this is one of the many reasons I love your daddy, because he doesn't feel the need to be manly all the time and as his wife this tender moment speaks volumes to me about how much he loves and cherishes us and how beautiful that is! My baby girl, you are seriously so blessed to get to call this wonderful man daddy and I can't wait to see your relationship develop over the coming years!

Since I last wrote to you, you have been busy growing and your flitters and flutters have turned to stronger punches and kicks to big rolls and stretches. We love sitting and watching your little acrobatics! We also giggle over your hiccups and your heart is now so strong that daddy can place his head on my tummy and hear it pumping away! This whole pregnancy thing is just so amazing, and  I feel like we both walk around with this silly little smile on our face so happy with our growing little family and we know it is only going to get better once you arrive!

I love you so much my baby girl.
I can't believe I will be holding you in my arms so soon!

Love Mumma

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